as you can see, i am blogging so often because i feel so bored studying. eww

ok last night a friend and i (tried to) bring 2 older people out for dinner.sort of like to show our appreciation for them. BUT old pple being OLDER, refused to let us pay so we ended up getting a free meal. Which was cool. GOOD THING we bought gifts for them haha. or else so FAIL hor.

anyhoo, these pple were our producers for the 2nd staging of r&h at the artshouse. One of them is Kenneth Lyen, a paediatrician (did i spell it right???!!!) at Mt E. he's been in the musical theatre business for yonks and hes extremely literate when it comes to musical theatre both broadway and off broadway. it was really nice just sitting down and talking to him cos, first he's OLD. and old pple have tonnes of experience and knowledge which only comes with age. yes haha
hes like a grandfatherly figure.. i think hes about 50ish 60?? yes he works with retarded kids (pardon my unPCness) so he was telling that his profession has actually allowed him to gain so much human experience, and that's what really inspires.

Everyone is born with the urge to create. so to all those pple (the LEGIONS of PEOPLE WHO READ THIS BLOG HAGHAHAAHAHAH) who often give the excuse that you are not creative, plus go and wash your mouth with listerine because ITS NOT TRUE!!! God created man in His image, and God is a creator, and we too, have been created with the urge to create. Creating is one of my raison pour vivre, i cannot imagine being a whole/healthy person without creativity.

yesh ok so i just needed to get that bit of random, incoherent information out of my system. TA!

wah piang just came back from breakfast with mel
ate at this place in siglap called makan makan its opp siglap centre.
sell malay food. Let me warn all (the 1 million readers who read my blog) that the food is AWFUL.
i bit into a ROCK or something like that. yuckksss


anyway its just under 3 weeks till my last paper. yikes and yipee!
im so relaxed man. so relaxed till i feel abit stressed with myself. HAHA!
ok lah talking nonsense. i never sleep last night cos i studying. Im all raring to go again!!!!
I LOVE STUDYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not.

i need to plan my day
every night, i'll spend about 20 minutes planning the next day and making fone calls to confirm appointments etc.
and only if i have nice long stretches of time, i'll do spontaneous stuff. otherwise most of the things i do, are planned.
So when someone upsets the plan, they naturally upset me. i dislike, no, Hate when my time is wasted by someone else. i can waste my own time, but no one can. haha.yes yes i know my time is not really my own but God's.. but you gut my drift lah. if i only physically have 1 hour for lunch, if you take 40 minutes deciding where to go or wasting time by talking to other pple etcetc. then i only have 20 min left. well yes that happened today. Time Waster!

but of course that's not the half of it. the time waster is also a take-for-granted-er. what a wonderful combi.

ok i have a paper in approx 12 days. i need to study.

ok. i have a confession to make. i read xiaxue's blog. eeeeeeee so paiseh right.
anyway i'd usually never discuss this here (or anywhere else for the matter), but i think shes crazy.
she's mad, she truly is. she gets so worked up and then spends an incredible amount of time and effort writing these hate entries about individuals or collective groups of people she doesnt like. she's gng to get old quickly. hehe

ok anyway thats that. haha now all of you know my darkest and most horrible secret.

my life is turning into something quite exciting.
sometime back i went for an SRT audition
general auditions for their different productions in 2006-2007
i just went to get experience and also to try try lah. nothing to lose mah
so that was like in feb. and i didnt hear from them for the whole of march
so i presumed that they'd chosen who they wanted and i didnt get selected
so it was cool
till yesterday
i got an email from srt inviting me back for 2nd round auditions for
FORBIDDEN CITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the musical. OmyGOSH
its a dance call back so ill have to sing and dance. haha ME DANCE??!!
anyway to add to the excitement, its on the same day as my exam. at the same time.
so i called in and the srt pple want me to come dwn after my paper.
wah liew.
i just think this is the opportunity of a lifetime.
thank you God.

hmm so the show on sunday went well. thank God for that
we also got some interested buyers. Thank God for that too
theatreworks and this guy called jeremiah choy. whos like a producer. and is cool
anyway with all the congratulations and well dones flying around, it was kinda hard for me to figure who really meant it and who didnt.
oh no am i turning into a skeptic. wait dont answer that
anyway i felt really blase after the show. like nothing really happened.
no feelings of euphoria like the last time
no sadness that the experience was ok
luke attributes it to the fact that this time round, we werent creating a show, we created a deformity, a sick commercial deformity
ah well.
but seriously, it was hard rehearsing without a goal/a cause in mind
i think next time v hard for me to do commercial theatre. sure no inspiration.

eeeee.

ON the brighter side!
my europe trip is almost ALLLL firmed up. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee so exciting
we booked most of our accomodation. cept stupid rome.
and we have our flight there and back
arrghh
and we're going to westend
in london
how amazing is thattttt

this week is so not gng well for me

anyway tnite i got another dose of yuckiness.

you know sometimes you just call someone up to whine. and all you need is for the other person to (pretend also can) to sympathise with you, encourage you a little and set you on your way. Well. there are some friends who seem Dont seem to know that. they harp on what you're doing wrong and dont focus on the immediate problems at hand. and in the midst of their HARPING, they create entirely new problems for you. man, YUCKS.

so yesterday was another one of those weird days. ive been having too many of those.
first. i got up late. i was supposed to get up early to do my work. then i got into a minor squabble with a friend. and felt bad.
secondly. i had an accident. now, hold your horses. to those who know me well and my driving history. you may think. WL she get into so many accidents so lousy. BUT ill tell you this: NOT NOTNOTNOTNTONTONTONONOTNOTNOTNOTN my fault. i was waiting patiently at a red light, STATIONARY mind you, when a BLERDY taxi rammed me from the back. Awesome eh. so the trunks really dented and stuff. the taxi man was really apologetic and offered to pay for everything so that was cool. he even loaned me his personal car for my use during the interim repair period. Awesome eh.
So. having just strapped the creaking boot back down, i had to drive my car around yesterday with it semi flapping around. Awesome eh.
then i went to do soome errands at katong shopping centre. at my printers. and i left my laptop there. cos by then i was reduced to a floundering bundle of nerves. one who needed about a kg of chocolate to stabilise. anyway. thank God for good men. my printer kept it there for me and i had to go back and get it. but of course NOT WITHOUT first getting drenched in the weird thunderstorm that magically began as i took first steps out of a building into the open air. Awesome eh.
then i proceeded to go for rehearsals which lasted till 10. and i dint have dinner till 11 plus.

hahah what a day. AWESOME EH!!!

psj
pre show jitters
countdown
5 days to show time
too nervous
got stomachache
need to finish assignment
delirious
stomachache
to all those who watched my show in sept: disregard the advert
but to all those who MISSED it by some chance
can watch again! but a slightly different version lah
tix going at 20 bux, pls Call the Artshouse ticketing box office: 63326919
to book now
date: 26th March Sunday
Venue: Artshouse
Matter: its a double bill. meaning another musical will be performed with our show.
ps its the very very last time this script will be performed to a public audience.
cos i think we're gng to kill this version and write a completely new one after this.
ok
nervous
got stomachache
cya guys

this week i heard disturbing news. the nature of which, i cannot reveal on this blog. but what you do... when a friend of yours is hurting another friend of yours? and every one's all from the same group of friends. ugh am i making sense?

so anyway one friend in the group, P, is trying to murder/kill/do in (I exaggerate but you get the drift) another friend A. i am both good friends with P and A, and P and A are working on a.. well a project together. So A has come out and told me about P's somewhat psychotic behaviour and it has been confirmed with her other.. project mates. aii... i am in a dilemma. because i can try and compartmentalise my feelings insofar as they do not concern me. but loyalty screws things up sometimes huh. i dont hate P, but i am in a fix about her. She's still a friend. who probably has some sort of problem. and i havent heard her side. so. ehh.. hmm.


***


OK. i just re-read the above paragraph. it quite confusingly written. aiyah i am confused what. anyway if you dont know what im referring to, then dont bother lah, not very important. heh. i have a crazy-elephant headache and a heart thats thumping really quickly cos i overdosed on caffeine. but. alas i have a blerdy long night ahead of me. and a blerdy 'orrible assignment to complete. so excuse the ranting. (i can go on and on by the way. mel will attest to that). argharghargh.

ps. you know, today i was talking to grace, and i realised something. Sometimes people just need a listening ear, not a counselling ear. Ears werent made for the purpose of talking and talking, but just for listening. and when people are upset, sometimes the best form of sympathy/care/show of support comes in form of a listening ear. So the next time we meet someone who's down, listen to their struggles before offering ANY form of counselling/moral advice. Yes. Let's.

there are some people in this world who i just cant get along with. One particular person that has crossed paths with me (again) is just so damn.. i dont know what. he makes me feel really lousy about who i am and he obnoxious and childish. yucks. i just had to get it out of me.

dear diary,

There are certain things in life that bring great satisfaction. For example, getting a call from your primary six tuition kid in the middle of dinner telling you that for the first time in a long while, she did well in her maths test. ("Teacher Esther, i win a lot of people that last time everytime win me wan leh"). The pride evident in her little husky voice - priceless. The knowledge that you had a part to play in her success - invaluable.

Other things, like watching a movie you intially DIDNT want to watch and realising afterward that it was possibly the best show you've seen in the last 6 months. (Please watch Capote, it is so excellent.) The satisfaction of knowing that your boyfriend is not the only person in the world who pays $9.50 for a movie ticket and sleeps 3 quarter of the time. (the snoring from the row behind us was deafening).

And then there are things like, watching a group of people (as varied as a group of people can possibly be) coming together and gelling. Caring and growing closer to one another everytime they meet. Recogising each other's cars in parking lots and leaving little notes of acknowledgment.

Finally, there are things like knowing you have great and wonderful friends who will go out of their way for you. Who are loyal and loving, kind and kindred. who'd insist you take the bed in their hall room where you are a guest, who support you at every show/performance you do/give. And also having a family, that i know says a prayer for me at every meal at that i'm not present at.

Satisfaction is never factual or objective. Any situation can be a satisfactory one, its all a matter of perspective.

Dear grace,

Sorry i have been so MIA.. but the month has been unbelievably crazy. im doing a restaging of my musical because some one from the musical theatre society picked it up. so rehearsals are 3 times a week. but thats no excuse :( anyway im really glad for you. you're graduating! this is your dream isnt it? im so proud of you, for coming this far. its really not the end, maybe it's only the end of the beginning of your career. i pray that you'll touch many many lives and win many best teacher awards! hee hee. anyway i just wanted to tell you i miss you too. and i keep telling everyone i wish you'd come back. Church is not the same without you. some how.


Love,
you most long time friend (i think)
es

there are some people who should change, but dont

there are some who want to change but cant

there are some who change but dont know

there are some things that should change but just dont. either.

i feel like giving up.

A poem about the new year.

jan passed, too quickly

cny came and went, too quickly

i turned 23, too quickly

i ate too much, too quickly

and got a stomachache.

the end.


thankyer to all those lovely peeps who got my gifts. my fambly. and some friends jolin/kenn, kel/es, soojin/van, lukey pukey (for the extremely thoughtful gift) a. lena for the pretty jewellry, ben (and ivan i think?) and to others i may have missed out, xiexie. oh yes and mel who spent lots of time w me. (good enough, Ha ha.)


im officially in love w my ibook. its so damn user friendly. i love mac i love mac i love mac

this week packed to max

Monday: class til 1, meeting w luke till forever
Tues: No class, must bake
Wed: class till 6, watching long house at esplanade at 8
thurs: Class till 6, play reading at next stage acad till 9pm
fri: class til 3, wine and cheese and screening @ dawn's place
Sat: e comm meeting at 10, cell group, then amy's place till LATE!!
sunday: church, lunch with linda and girls, dinner with daddys friend.

WAHH. so to everyone who reads you will know where i am in the week. so if i dont pick up your call, you'll know why. so busy. jin cham.

hullo dear all. i am posting this entry from my new ibook. Mei mei!!! i got a Mac! hehehe. and a shuffle free as well. early bday present from my loving parents. am lovin' it. getting used to all the organizational features. i need to get some protective covers or something. the whiteness is driving me nuts. ok must rush off to tuition now then school. tata to all!!! long live mac! 

testing. something wrong with my login., weirddddddddddddddddd. all the anon comments. its me.

hullo everyone (aka maybe the 3 pple who read this)  happy new year!

its 2006. feels surreal. like im in the FUTURE. weeeiirrd
any way we rang in the new year on a pretty low note. watching tv and bumming.
it was my 5th annv. w mel, bt we spent the day like any other day. going shopping and doing errands. which was pretty profound. cos it meant that we'd gone beyond celebrating once a year to recognising that there were many more years to come. hehe.

1st of jan, ate at Wild Rocket @ mt emily. luverly little place owned by ex lawyer turned chef willin Low. really nice chap who came out to chat with us for a bit.  food was slightly above average but i was taken with the way the restaurant was managed, the location, and the guts it must have taken to quit the legal profession so young (he is young. maybe early 30s?)

good stuff.

anyway im glad i got to chat abit w Grace (*hi grace! wave!*) on sunday. i miss you. come back!

ok ive got wake up super early tomorrow to wake melvin up for breakfast at 720. eeps.

oh oh before i forget:

ausssssie aussie ausssieeeeeeeeee!
my sister is in australia, melbourne for 2 weeks
hannah and pamela are there for 2 weeks
chris is leaving on sunday for Perth, then sydney. i think
then my parents are going to australia to meet my sis
then emma is leaving for australia
then my brother is leaving (+plus my parents again+)for uni in sydney
then i think i might be gng down in may with my strawberry club pple.


ok now i really have to sleep. here's ending this frightful unstructured random and absolutely ridiculous entry with a song to match:
(ps its the song that fann wong sang at the countdown sky symphony thingy and it was HORRIBLE. but cannot blame lah seeing that faye wong did SUCH a bad job o writing it in the first place. ITS NASSSSTYYY):

pps: no typos. i cut and paste. and fann wong really sang it like that, bad grammar et al. HAHAH. i'm diggin' it.

Eyes On Me
Faye Wong

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever sad my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar

My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
h, did you ever know?
That I had mine on you

*Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer

So let me come to you
Close as I wanted to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I loved your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you

Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the dress and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming

may i just say that...

RENT IS
SUPER_DUPER_
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

sound system was off lah

but i dont factor that in my analysis of a good piece of art

its the potential that matters

it was absolutely...

cant describe it. took my breath away.

karen mok was not very good.

but nevertheless, THE SHOW WAS SOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

everything about it was coherent

everything that wasnt prima facie coherent, was incoherent for artistic reasons.

amazing stuff.

ok peace out pple. its 4.11 am and im not asleep